They just put the billboard up about two weeks ago, and I have to admit that the timing is rather suspect. I love when God talks to me through billboards. I am a simple girl, and I need giant billboards to point me in the right direction sometimes.
This week, as I am taking steps toward "answering the call," I am feeling burdened by the things I might be leaving behind. It seems that God has been calling me to something specific, but I hate the feeling of walking out on things. I think that often there is so much value in being deeply rooted somewhere, in being established and channeling peace and joy into that place. There is value in being faithful to one place and in pouring yourself out there. I also think that there is value in leaving your comfort zone and saying yes to the grand adventure of life. Sometimes you are called to stay and sometimes you are called to leave. Though leaving isn't easy, to those who choose to stay, it can appear to be "taking the easy way out."
I spoke to my boss on the phone today and she was crying. She is having a really rough time in life, and all of her employees are on the verge of quitting. People are constanty calling in sick or going to rehab or needing to go on maternity leave to give birth to their children. As I find myself on the brink of leaving this job myself, I can't help but feel like I am abandoning my boss in her hour of need, and that she needs me to stay and help her.
When you are a person of conscience, I think that there will always be people to whom you feel loyal. There will always be a reason to not get on that plane or dive in to that cause. There will always be a reason why you shouldn't do something, and there will always be someone wherever you are who needs your help. The hard part is discerning when is the right time to care for these obligations, and when is the time to decide that they aren't really the obligations for which you have been placed on this earth.
Sometimes it seems selfish when you tell people that you have to follow what God is calling you to do and to leave them behind. It sounds like you are skipping out on your responsibilities or abandoning the people who need you. The thing is, those people don't really need you, they need God. Too often we depend on each other for things that only God can provide. So instead of thinking that I am the answer to someone's problems, I need to learn that God is the answer, and His power can be present, whether I am or not. This requires a great deal of trust because you have to trust that God is in charge, that there is power in prayer, and that He is the one who is going to take care of the people you love.
I guess the bottom line of what I am learning through this is that it is so important in life to answer the call, and not to be bogged down by the overwhelming needs of the people around you. We need to be CALL driven, not NEED driven. There are needs everywhere, but where is God CALLING you? What makes your heart beat faster and your soul smile? You are not the answer to anyone's problems, but when you align yourself with the power of God, he can use you to do something awesome in your little corner of the world.
Hiding your heart in the One who made you will allow you to live a purposeful, focused life because God will show you what it is that you were CREATED to do!
Why are these things so much easier to BLOG about than to actually live?! :)
this is a great post, as I too am learning not so much what it is to answer the call but to learn that I am not necessarily the answer to everyone's problems. Well, not me so much, but what I can save them from- protect them from. It's difficult to learn how to let people hurt. How to let them get through their very own life. And by trying to rescue people, we are really robbing them of a very important lesson that they would never learn if we just ran to their rescue to take on their burden. So anyway... I just wanted to let you know you aren't the only one struggling with this.
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